let's just call this day 22 take two!
Much better day
First up went to keyfood (it's kinda like wholefoods of the bronx lol)
saw a HB cashier
Me: Hey. you have really nice eyes. They are big too
Me: but you should see my mom's eyes. They are huge
Me: have a good day
While going to hang out with with Tommy, I see a really good looking latina sitting on the subway. She has head phones on. I look for something to talk about. There are people watching... gawd I am gonna creep them out. Let's just find out.
Me: (walking over to her). Hey. I like your sneakers.
HB: she is still on headphones. takes them off.
Me: I like your sneakers.
Hb: O thank you.
Me: where did you get them?
HB: my bro got them for me.
ME: cool. How much were they? cuz i am also looking to get new sneakers
HB: Well, I am a kids size since my feet are small so like 90 bucks
ME: Hey.. you are so lucky. I am like size 13 (pointing to my feet)
They will probably cost way more for me
HB: starts laughing
OK ace bingo you have successfully approached someone on the subway who was not sitting next to you good job.. and then I ejected lol
Later on I meet up with Tommy and a bunch of other guys from the forums. We went to various bars. Even though the place was not that packed, I need field experience and being alone is something I am working on as well as approaching on my campus where things are more social circle oriented.. My goal tonight was to actually face rejection and open 5 sets. I wanna control my response to when a girl rejects me , or not even rejects but let's just say is not responsive to me. So we go in the beauty bar. There were a few sets there which gave me an opportunity to practice in a low key setting Tommy already goes in a set. The other guys are already in sets too. So I go to another area. See a two set.
Me: hey guys. My friends and I are having a debate right now. It's really heated. Who lies more men or women?
HBs: looking at each other. well it's pretty even. (both of them were giving lukewarm responses)
Me: well, you know what. you guys are full of shit and are lying. (I was of course saying it in a jokingly manner)
Hb: start laughing
We make small talk, and I eject. I talked to them later on as well. Turns out they are super rich girls from Cali and visit NY every other week. I even got Tommy to wing me in and he did a good job in talking and making good conversation.
Another set I approached. A HB and her fat HB friend from the south. Nothing major, just joking and making small banter. The good thing about me today was that I was in a good mood and was just having fun. Later on we went to various bars.
Tommy was showing and trying to install the attitude of not really caring about the outcome. Tonight I got to experience some of that. Letting go helps. The funniest thing was we were standing around union square park and Tommy tells me to sing to a girl. I reply but I am horrible at singing. He says the next girl that is going to walk through here , I am going to sing to her. Some girl comes and low and behold Tommy starts running to her singing. It was pretty funny; the girl started laughing and said nice try.
We go to another bar. There is a four set adjacent to where we are standing. Three white women and an asian woman. They are not that attractive but I wanted to approach them. I want to face my fears. I ask Tommy if I should go in with the who lies more opener? Well, his friend told a classic opener to use that Tommy suggested I use. It goes like:
" I am a douche bag. Will you be my friends?"
Hearing that opener made my heart race a little faster. But I think, it's the perfect opener to face rejection and get over it cuz if the girl says no or something I can get used to her response. I first try it on a two set. They did not like it AT ALL and said "OKKK"
Good thats exactly what I needed for tonight, a bad response. I planned that before going out.
I move on to the four set. I put my hands on the shoulder of the two white girls and look at the rest of the group.
Me: Hey guys. I am a douchbag. Will you guys be my friends?
All of them looked at me in unison and went: NO while shaking their head and smiling.
For a split second, I felt like shit. But I need to feel that way in order to get better. Rejection is common and the only way to get over it is to go through it. I went back to my group and felt quite better.
I forget the rest of the sets I approached but nothing major to report on. O yeah, I finally successfully smiled at a girl for the first time in a bar. Yay!!! seriously, smiling seems to be a big problem with me.... it's an Indian thing lol. We just don't like to smile.
O yeah one more set I approached. It wasn't more of an approach but there was a girl dancing all by herself.
Me: Hey.. what are you doing here dancing all by yourself trying to show off. You think you are so good? As I am saying that I grab her shoulder and slightly shake her in a playful manner.
HB: starts smiling
Me: I am just kidding here
My goal while approaching her was to adapt the attitude of not caring and have fun. Mission accomplished.
2) open 5 sets (achieved my goal). William you are right, the night begins way before you step your foot out the door. I actually had a plan this time. And I have started to pay attention to how negative my thought pattern is. Even in this mini-FR I originally wrote some things that were bit negative about my progress such as "I am horrible when I am alone". Instead of thinking that way, I am thinking , "You know what, being alone is something that I need to get comfortable with and with more practice I will definitely get better"
3) Face rejection and get over it
4) Have fun
Things to work on:
When in a set, I run outta things to say. That's expected cuz I don't approach much. So the more I approach, the better I will get.
Better eye contact
Overall, a good night.