Ace's 30 day direct challenge

day 22 (take one)
i don't know if this fullfills the challenge or not but today I decided to go alone to daygame. I noticed that I have been relying a lot on others to carry me... it's time to do things on my own.
My objectives:
get outta the house... I have been getting lazy with no school work just bumming around ain't gonna help
approach
get comfortable being alone/approaching alone

Got out of the house. yay!!!
see an old lady walking towards me... fuck it!! go and talk to her. Asked her for the time.
Got on train. Wanted to approach there. See two latina high school girls get on. NO I was NOT gonna hit on them but I wanted to talk to them just to get it outta my system cuz in high school i used to be a total AFC and always wanted to talk to girls like those. Both of them were wearing really cool sneakers so I wanted to ask where they got them. But before I could say anything, they left. OK I admit it. They were there for like 2 stops but my AA kicked in and by the time I was reay to approach them, they got off.

Some lady with the harry potter book walks in. Easy situational opener comes to mind but she sits across from me and was not the idealist of situations to approach her. OK fine you win AFC dude lol.

Next up, a hottie latina HB walks in and sits next to me. I am sorry this is too good of an opportunity to pass. She has what looks like an iphone.

Me: hey, is that an iphone.
HB: taking off headphones... yeah
Me: I mean it looks like it, but with the cover you have on it's hard to tell. Is it worth the money?
HB: yeah
Me: whats the best thing about it? (that line kinda hooked or so I think cuz she was smiling)
Hb: well, it plays music and I can watch videos on it
Me: (surprised)... you mean, you can watch youtube vids on it
HB: yeah.
Me: wow, that is cool.
and then she went back to listening to her music and so did I. Damn, I forgot how much I love latinas =)

Got off the train at union square. I had one situational opinion opener in mind to use (who lies more men/women).

I don't know what happened between the time I walked into B and N from the train but I started feeling like a total noob again. It's so funny how I was able to approach the latina hottie in the train but started to feel like an AFC again. Walked through all the store with nothing. Only semi-opened one set where a blonde was picking a book and I picked the same book as her and said "huh, this book looks interesting"... I said that while not really facing her so it was a bit awkward... two secs later her b/f (or some guy she was with) comes. I think (maybe it's another excuse by my AFC me) that I saw couple of police officers in the store... which scared me a bit more and caused nervousness. Add to that the fact that someone I know actually got kicked out of B and N for sargin too much and what you get is me not doing anything afterwards. Went to the magazine section and actually read a magazine.... and then left.
Went to Sephora next door. Mental note: this place is full of women. Kinda felt like I did not belong there. Went to another store. Bought an American Eagle T-shirt for 10 bucks. As I was leaving, saw a three set... one guy and two women. I was not interested in them but I just wanted to open my mouth. Asked them for the time just to talk.


Coming home, I still did not feel like total shit which I normally do.
Success:
got off my lazy butt
talked to that fine latina girl on the subway

Things to work on:
Umm, actually approach lol
stop talking to myself... it's so funny when I was preparing for going today, I thought of many openers I could use but as soon as I got in field my brain started giving me excuses not to use them (I.e like who cares about your opener... it's too weird...blah blah blah etc)

I still have a long way to go but somehow I feel ok.

let's just call this day 22 take two!
Much better day
First up went to keyfood (it's kinda like wholefoods of the bronx lol)
saw a HB cashier
Me: Hey. you have really nice eyes. They are big too
HB: smiling.
Me: but you should see my mom's eyes. They are huge
HB: smiling
Me: have a good day

Second approach
While going to hang out with with Tommy, I see a really good looking latina sitting on the subway. She has head phones on. I look for something to talk about. There are people watching... gawd I am gonna creep them out. Let's just find out.
Me: (walking over to her). Hey. I like your sneakers.
HB: she is still on headphones. takes them off.
Me: I like your sneakers.
Hb: O thank you.
Me: where did you get them?
HB: my bro got them for me.
ME: cool. How much were they? cuz i am also looking to get new sneakers
HB: Well, I am a kids size since my feet are small so like 90 bucks
ME: Hey.. you are so lucky. I am like size 13 (pointing to my feet)
They will probably cost way more for me
HB: starts laughing
OK ace bingo you have successfully approached someone on the subway who was not sitting next to you good job.. and then I ejected lol



Later on I meet up with Tommy and a bunch of other guys from the forums. We went to various bars. Even though the place was not that packed, I need field experience and being alone is something I am working on as well as approaching on my campus where things are more social circle oriented.. My goal tonight was to actually face rejection and open 5 sets. I wanna control my response to when a girl rejects me , or not even rejects but let's just say is not responsive to me. So we go in the beauty bar. There were a few sets there which gave me an opportunity to practice in a low key setting Tommy already goes in a set. The other guys are already in sets too. So I go to another area. See a two set.
Me: hey guys. My friends and I are having a debate right now. It's really heated. Who lies more men or women?
HBs: looking at each other. well it's pretty even. (both of them were giving lukewarm responses)
Me: well, you know what. you guys are full of shit and are lying. (I was of course saying it in a jokingly manner)
Hb: start laughing
We make small talk, and I eject. I talked to them later on as well. Turns out they are super rich girls from Cali and visit NY every other week. I even got Tommy to wing me in and he did a good job in talking and making good conversation.

Another set I approached. A HB and her fat HB friend from the south. Nothing major, just joking and making small banter. The good thing about me today was that I was in a good mood and was just having fun. Later on we went to various bars.
Tommy was showing and trying to install the attitude of not really caring about the outcome. Tonight I got to experience some of that. Letting go helps. The funniest thing was we were standing around union square park and Tommy tells me to sing to a girl. I reply but I am horrible at singing. He says the next girl that is going to walk through here , I am going to sing to her. Some girl comes and low and behold Tommy starts running to her singing. It was pretty funny; the girl started laughing and said nice try.

We go to another bar. There is a four set adjacent to where we are standing. Three white women and an asian woman. They are not that attractive but I wanted to approach them. I want to face my fears. I ask Tommy if I should go in with the who lies more opener? Well, his friend told a classic opener to use that Tommy suggested I use. It goes like:
" I am a douche bag. Will you be my friends?"
Hearing that opener made my heart race a little faster. But I think, it's the perfect opener to face rejection and get over it cuz if the girl says no or something I can get used to her response. I first try it on a two set. They did not like it AT ALL and said "OKKK"
Good thats exactly what I needed for tonight, a bad response. I planned that before going out.
I move on to the four set. I put my hands on the shoulder of the two white girls and look at the rest of the group.
Me: Hey guys. I am a douchbag. Will you guys be my friends?
All of them looked at me in unison and went: NO while shaking their head and smiling.
For a split second, I felt like shit. But I need to feel that way in order to get better. Rejection is common and the only way to get over it is to go through it. I went back to my group and felt quite better.
I forget the rest of the sets I approached but nothing major to report on. O yeah, I finally successfully smiled at a girl for the first time in a bar. Yay!!! seriously, smiling seems to be a big problem with me.... it's an Indian thing lol. We just don't like to smile.

O yeah one more set I approached. It wasn't more of an approach but there was a girl dancing all by herself.
Me: Hey.. what are you doing here dancing all by yourself trying to show off. You think you are so good? As I am saying that I grab her shoulder and slightly shake her in a playful manner.
HB: starts smiling
Me: I am just kidding here
My goal while approaching her was to adapt the attitude of not caring and have fun. Mission accomplished.

Successes:
1)smiled
2) open 5 sets (achieved my goal). William you are right, the night begins way before you step your foot out the door. I actually had a plan this time. And I have started to pay attention to how negative my thought pattern is. Even in this mini-FR I originally wrote some things that were bit negative about my progress such as "I am horrible when I am alone". Instead of thinking that way, I am thinking , "You know what, being alone is something that I need to get comfortable with and with more practice I will definitely get better"
3) Face rejection and get over it
4) Have fun

Things to work on:
When in a set, I run outta things to say. That's expected cuz I don't approach much. So the more I approach, the better I will get.
Better eye contact
slowing down
Overall, a good night.

Went out again tonight. But I was not feeling it at all. I think, I got stuck inside my head way too much. Even before we went out, while I was talking to Tommy and Raven my energy was way low. I was just feeling like shit. But that is good. It gave me an opportunity to embrace my negative feelings. Tommy, Raven and I met a couple of other guys (really chill guys one from Aussie and other from here). We decided to go out. I totally forget the exact sequence of bars we went in cuz we were bar hopping.In one of the bars we went to,we met a sorta pick up artist whose seminar I attended before. Here, I was feeling lost wandering around. He realized that and came up to me and told me what I have been told before many times by folks here: take up more space. I know... I was feeling very nervous, but I will remember that next time I go out.
Like I said before, I was not feeling it at all. Maybe it was lack of preparation (I did not prepare much). Maybe because I still can't tell my parents that I am going out.... traditional indian parents sigh, but to say that I was not in state would be an understatement (pardon the pun).
The first set that Tommy had me approached was a two set.
I went over and said to them
Me: hey guys, how is it going tonight. My name is AJ. I am just going around saying hi to people. (I said something along the lines of that)
HBs: just stared at me.... and kept staring like I was a weirdo. That awkward stare fucking got to me big time and I ejected.
I know that I have to be outcome independent but the initial reaction that I get usually gets to me.

We met the other two guys and went to another bar. Here, Tommy and Raven go in a two set. They are doing pretty well. The other two guys, go in another set. I see them approach and the girls were not responsive to them but they did not care and the next thing they know they are sitting with them. Everyone is in a set while I am by myself. I walked around. Looked at my cellphone. I felt very very lost. Sat down by myself and started to look around. This went on for about half an hour or longer. I just could not open. But, one of Raven's friend (after he finished his set) comes and talks to me. His talk really helped me. He told me that you can get back in state. it's ok. If I were alone, I would not have been able to get back in state but thanks to him I felt a bit better. He excused himself and went to another two set, which lasted for quite a time. Came back to me and gave me a good situational opener to use. (it was a joke that he made with the same girls that he approached regarding the old school cartoon show Captain planet). I opened them with that, BAM... it hooked. Felt a bit better. The girl was really nice. I can't recall the exact convo we had but I completed A, B and C with her. Joked around, did mini-cold read, played slap jack, talked about professional life. I was actually thinking of kissing her. The first time that has happened to me in a set... usually I am too busy being nervous. Anyways this set helped me feel better.
While in another bar, there was a three set that Raven approached. They were Indian. I went in there. I honestly had a lot of fun here. They were three sisters and a cousin visiting from England. Honestly, everything flew in naturally since I had a lot in common with them, culturally. The younger girl was really talkative and fun. I made a lot of jokes with her. The set lasted for like an hour so I don't remember the WHOLE convo but it went pretty well. O yeah, while talking (even though we are not supposed to lean in)... I was very close to her like only so much space separated our lips while talking and I was seriously thinking of kissing her. Tonight is the first night I have started to think about kissing while in a set. I did not want to mess up though especially in front of practically half her family. I also felt like my kino was spot on. The whole time our legs were touching and she was pretty cool about it. After they departed I hugged her. I wanted to number close and Tommy told me to but I wussied out.
As the night progressed, better reactions from girls helped my state. But I have got to get to the point where my state does not depend on the girl's reaction. Raven is frikking awesome with his direct game.... tonight I saw him go hardcore direct in sets off the chart. He does not give a fuck about anything... that is the attitude I want to employ.

Success:
Two hugs
I am beginning to pick targets as opposed to just going in sets
Got out of my bad state... thanks guys for helping me out.
Good kino... or so I think lol
Things to work on:
approaching instead of AFCing around when everyone else is approaching
controlling my state and getting out of my head
not giving a shit about a girl's reactions.... part of me is saying that I should already be having success in field since I have been trying but I know that I should not be getting result orientated.
I felt a bit inadequate when everyone was in a set and I was by myself and could not get myself to do anything. But on the positive side (think good thoughts) this gave me an opportunitie to embrace some of my fears and I overcame them somewhat.

Regarding the direct challenge:
At the end of the night while leaving the bar I see this blond woman who is hot but is talking with her friend.
Me: Hey, I was just about to leave with my friends BUT
HB: at this point here eyes are glued to me in a weird way... but I did not care
Me: I just had to tell you that you look adorable
HB: thank you
Me: As I am exiting, she playfully slaps me on the back. I turn around and say (jokingly)
Hey that hurts. Give me a hug and I hugged her.

day 24

Another fun day in my journey. We went to park today. Gotta love this place for being quiet.
A friend of mine J and I approached a two set, who was seated in a corner. They are Asian but a bit on the older side.

J and me: hey are you guys having a good night
HBs: smiling. yeah
J: you guys look like sisters
HB1: do we? (they really did not lol)
HB2: that's like saying you two are brothers. (J is white and I am indian lol).
Me: no I think, you guys are like best friends
HB1: yeah. we have known each other since third grade
Me: did you guys ever fight growing up
HBs: both are looking at each other smiling thinking of what to say.
Me: you know how I can tell you guys are best friends. You keep looking at other and smiling, when we say something, to think of an answer
HB2: starts laughing....
then we introduced ourselves
HB2: we are having a heated discussion right now. (something involving someone's fiance getting married)
Me; No problem, and we ejected gracefully.
It's funny that they were in the middle of their discussion and they were still pretty responsive to us and did not tell us to get the hell away from them. While we were approaching other sets later on, they were still locked in their discussion.
I complimented numerous girls today... like hey you look adorable today. Just to get over my AA. The more I talked, the better I felt. It's so funny Tommy approached a girl and I approached her friend two secs right after he approached her and we both used the same opener lol... o well. Many girls were either married or had b/fs tonight.
One set I approached was like a 8 set. There was one Asian girl that I was really attracted to. But, fuck it I could not think of how to approach her. J tells me to go to my friend who is standing right next to him, talk to him ,and turn around and talk to the girl.
I did that
Me: hey are you guys having a good night
HB: yeah... accented voice
Me: so you are not from here you? Are you international
HB: yeah, I am from Korea.
Me: at this point I am ready to eject, but I see her smiling, I keep talking
HB: we go to Columbia
Me: wow you must be really smart, then getting A's
Her two guys friends, jump in
Douche bags: no, we take it for Pass and Fail
Another one of her friend answers: we all go to Columbia
Douche bags: We are all friends..
At this point, I got stuck because of the social pressure imposed by her friends and I just did not know what to say to her. Plus, she was really cute and I was attracted to her... usually I just go in sets just for practice but she WAS my motherfucking TARGET baby!!!
so I eject. J tells me that either (just outa of shock or maybe she was atleast a bit interested in me) she kept looking over to me. There were at least 5 different ways that were suggested to be to go back to her but I could not. This just brought back memories of high school where I would have a crush on a certain girl but would not be able to open my mouth in front of her. But this is good. I am making progress. I am finally picking targets and going in there. J tried to get me back in there and tapped her on the shoulder later on but I wussed out.
I should have approached her later on but I could not. Felt bad cuz I liked her even though we talked for like 2 seconds. Classic AFC behavior. O well, talked to other girls afterwords. Approached a four set
Me: hey you guys look adorable tonight
One girl: yeah, that's great, now get the hell away from us.
I ejected, but she did not get to my state because she was not even that hot plus I just did not give a fuck.

successes:
finally starting to pick targets
getting comfortable approaching.
Took up space today and made sure to have good Body language

Things to work on:
When I am in state, I have the energy of a 5 year old kid. I gotta slow down and be smooth. It's great that I am picking targets but I gotta do more now. But, when I am attracted to someone I really don't wanna mess up but at the same time I get more AA but then when I don't approach I feel like shit. It's like catch-22. Gotta work on that.

This was my sticking point for a long, long time... don't worry, just keep practicing. You'll get over it, just like I did. It's only awkward if you think it's awkward. Usually they think that they're the ones being awkward. Just be a cool guy, and they (both chicks and guys) will come up with something to say, to try and impress you. If you're still working on being a cool guy, just stay in there until they walk away. It's a great chance for practice.

Mad props for just getting out there.

- SpacePirate

day 25
Went on Saturday with Tommy and some other friends to Hotel Rivington. Should have wrote this yesterday when it was fresh in memory but due to my laziness I procrastinated. I will try to write down as much as I recall.
High points of the night:
I approached a girl who was already on her cellphone texting.
Me: hey, since you are on a cellphone, I got a question for you,
HB: looks at me.
I don't know if I kinoed her or not, but as we are talking, her b/f comes along she says hi to him and completely ignores him.
Me: I run a variation of the styles' jealous opener.
Hb: gives her opinion blah blah blah
Me: so where are you from
Hb: northern Cali
Me: banter more, kino more. Shit I think I was kinoing her way too much lol.
Anyways the set went well. I go back to my friends. We are talking. Like 20 minutes later, as she was passing by, I gave her a playful slap on the shoulder and said have a good night. She stops and hits me back playfully. Keep in mind, all this is happening with her b/f somewhere in the background lol. Keep in mind times two that when I see a girl with her b/f I normally don't approach them and avoid them.
Another set, that my friend J and I opened using the text message opener. J's plan was to plant ourselves closer to the girls, have a convo and turn to them saying:
"hey my friend James just broke up with his g/f over a text message. is that weird or what"?
We did that and opened a two set. One is kinda cuhbby but still hot korean and the other is some skinny girl whose anything (face/body) my brain refuses to recall.
After the opener, we start making small talk.
Me: so where are you from?
Chubby HB: korea
Me: cool, what part the good one or the bad one. This was my lame attempt at banter. Sadly, it worked as she is laughing.
CHb: the good part
Me: I am originally from India.
I am light kinoing her. She responds back. At this point I forget the exact sequence of convo but she is a professor at city college. She teaches psychology... I teased her a bit on that. I tell her that I go to school at Binghamton. She tells me that she went there once and the weather is too cold there. I agree but tell her that since I am used to the weather there, nyc is pretty warm for me now even in the winter. J is talking to her target but he semi-isolates her so that he is fully facing her and I am facing my target. For most guys, it'd be a good thing but I felt nervous. I felt as if by myself I am not strong/good enough to run a set... and I ejected. Should have stayed in there. Also, the other thing that caused me nervousness was that as we were talking, their friend comes along, in the set. Now the polite thing would be to merge her in the set or at least introduce myself but I felt nervous when the new friend said "are these your friends"? and I ejected.
We also went to various other bars. I did not approach as much as I would have liked to and I was relying a lot to enter sets as a wing but not by myself.
Also, another girl that I approached later on in another bar, was a bit creeped out when I light touched her. Even though I am pretty sure that I was not that aggressive. Her b/f came along and she kissed him. In order to diffuse the awkward moment, I introduced myself to him and made small talk. Overall, I think I handled the situation pretty well.

Successes:
Approached
Things that I need to work on:
Voice projection... damn it.. I can't talk in a loud venue so I have to yell all the time.
Slowing down. All my life I have been doing things fast paced Everything like eating fast, drinking fast, talking like a machine, walking fast. So I know that I have got to be slower and calmer. But it will take a while before it sinks in.
I had way too much high energy... maybe it's because I feel a bit inadequate if I go in and just talk in a calm voice so I am probably overcompensating by going in with high energy just to get a better reaction...


Regarding direct approach:
I was hanging out with a bunch of guys from Art of Charm in union square. I approached a two set using a direct opener. The girl was not responsive to me at all. When I went back these are two things I was told that I need to work on :
a) I was probably too invested in her (good body language but I was facing her). Probably because of my nervousness.
b) she was not that hot and when I went direct, I was not being congruent. I think when I go direct, I usually approach girls that I am not attracted to or are about average looking.

ps thanks to all the guys that I got to meet and hang out with this past week. Going out in the field makes a shit load of difference. I want to do what I did here this week on campus but I am alone there and solo sarging shit scares me.

day 26
Was hanging out in the cafe with my friend. See a black HB with a nice belt. Complemented her. Turns out she already knew my friend. We talked a bit. She went to join her friends... I told her I will come sit with her if she is cool. She was laughing at that.
Later on we joined her. She had two other friends there so together there were like 5 of us. We talked a lot and had a lot of fun.Made many many many jokes, not just me but everyone. I used a lot of C and F and also Kinoed her. Arm wrestled her (she almost beat me lol). Spent at least an hour in the set. Got her facebook. Her friends were also pretty cool guys. Later on I found out (via facebook) that one of her friend was also her b/f... which I would have never guessed cuz the whole time we were talking there was no indication of that. Even when I was kinoing the girl and later on TICKLING her, the b/f did not even hint that they were related. O well, my point was just to be social anyways.

Today was a bit of a challenging day.

Went to the cafe at night. Went solo to face my fears. Sat and had work with me. Let's see a two blond set in front of me. Might have approached them with a situational opener but two guys walked in and I decided not to.

A two set walked in. Speaking in a foreign language. They sat in the opposite side of the table. I might have known one of the girl before (by known I mean briefly seen at a meeting).

Next up, an HB 8.5 walks in. She is with a guy. But, as they are getting their food, the girl gets out of the line first to sit down and the guy is no where in sight. She sits adjacent to me. I look over. I needed to know the time anyways so I ask for the time. She is probably the hottest girl I have asked the time from (I use the time asking technique whenever I have major AA just to get my mouth moving). I need to ask/talk more than just asking for the time.

Next up, another girl sits next to me. She is a lonewolf but is on the phone and is speaking in another language. She takes out a pack of gum. I wanted to ask her for one but i chickened out. She left afterwords.

went direct on a blond at my dining hall
Me : "hey you look lovely today"
HB: thank you.

i know it's not much but sometimes doing something as small as this can also help me break outta my shell, especially on campus.

Been very very lazy/wussing out over the past few days.
As i was going to the dining hall, this HB has a pink jansport bag with cute little design on it.
Me (as we are walking): hey I love you book bag
HB: o thank you
Me: (while kinoing her) where did you get this? Don't tell me you got it at place X
HB: o no. I have had it for a long time
Then we went our separate ways. I was thinking of have asking her to eat with me as I saw her getting food and leaving. I think my laptop was broken before so most of my time I spent outside in the library which gave me an excellent opportunity to at least THINK about approaching. But now that I have a laptop, I am locked in my room wasting too much time. Gotta get out of my room and my head.