Freedom from Fear and Approach Anxiety

JT "the Asian Playboy" Tran

JT “the Asian Playboy” Tran

Tired of shaking in your boots for hours on end? Tired of coming home, alone, wishing you had said something to that gorgeous girl in the whatever-color dress? Tired of searching for the cure that will kill approach anxiety? Believe you me, I know what it feels like to be too terrified to talk to a woman.

To have approach anxiety so bad you wanted to cry at how ashamed you were from the fear.

I was the exact same way five years ago.

Any professional pickup artist that makes his living teaching men the art of pickup has approach anxiety (and if they haven’t; RUN! It’s a scam!), but what makes us who we are today is the ability to get PAST that!

Right now you’re saying, “Asian Playboy, what is going to motivate me to approach that girl when I could just as easily NOT approach her, and avoid the possibility of rejection or embarrassment?

Again, I understand that thought process as well and I’m going to give you the answer because I very sincerely believe that all men, of all ages, should share a particular freedom that our social history has bred out of us:

The Freedom From Fear

Allow me to step out of my PUA boots and put on my Man-hat (my Lock & Co. James Bond Trilby) for a second, because we’re gonna get into some seriously important stuff here. This stuff is not just about Pickup, it’s about going after the destiny you deserve (as most ABCs Of Attraction material is).

The Freedom from Fear is such an important freedom that Norman Rockwell (one of the greatest American artists alive – besides Aerosmith) selected it for his Four Freedoms series of incredible paintings for the Saturday Evening Post in 1943. In this series, Rockwell depicted the four, essential human rights that Roosevelt identified in his State of the Union Address in 1941:

  1. Freedom of Speech
  2. Freedom of Worship
  3. Freedom from Want
  4. Freedom from Fear

Despite the Freedom From Fear painting being released more than 65 years ago, it still remains an incredibly important image in Americana and represents many facets of our lives as men. The image is of a man and his wife tucking their two children into bed.

Yes, I know this was a patriotic wartime effort designed to rally America to fight for the necessary freedoms against the evvvvviilll Axis powers, but let’s examine the picture as if it were painted by a PUA, for PUAs.

"A man needs a much bigger orbit than a woman. He needs a mission and a life purpose. Only then is he fit for a woman, for only then does he have something to invite her into."

“A man needs a much bigger orbit than a woman. He needs a mission and a life purpose. Only then is he fit for a woman, for only then does he have something to invite her into.” – John Elredge

This picture represents the ultimate goal of a man; to have a family to both protect and love. He has two, presumably wonderful, children that he and his loving wife can tuck in every night, knowing that they will be safe under their watch. They will not want or need anything that he cannot choose to provide for them, nor will they ever be in harm’s way because of him.

An interesting element that you might take for granted is found further back, in the history of this man’s life. Though he now lives to protect and teach and grow with his children in the model of perfection (the ultimate biological goal that we men are constantly working towards), a long time ago this man was just like you.

This man sat or stood across the room from a beautiful brunette, maybe standing with his friends or maybe standing by himself. He shook his drink nervously in his hand or scuffed his feet or smoothed out his shirtsleeves and, though he felt the anxiety or fear or hesitation that you and I have felt so many times, he decided that it was worth it to risk his ego and his safe, wallflower post to talk to that woman, who is now at his side, lovingly tucking in their two children.

Yes. This situation is fictional and the painting itself may be composed of people entirely from Rockwell’s mind, but it represents the grand scheme of our lives as men. Yes, this girl you’re approaching may reject you and yes, you may be embarrassed if it happens, but you are a strong, confident, man who’s desire to grow as a human and to build a beautiful, loving family that he can protect, love, and pass traditions on to, overtakes that fear.

You can see your future with that woman, if she is one that you choose, and you will do anything to secure that destiny for yourself. You will protect her from danger and show her love in ways that no other man can. You will fight tooth-and-nail for her and risk your life for her, if need be. Together, you will build the family that will continue your legacy.

As a professional Pick Up Artist, I think about that every day, before I talk to any woman. I can also safely tell you that every other professional PUA out there thinks about the same thing. Our destinies as men override that approach anxiety and allow us to seize these great opportunities that life presents us.

This destiny is ready for the taking and, chances are, all you have to do is say, “Hi“. Isn’t it about time YOU learned how to live a life without fear?

Sign up for one of our upcoming bootcamps by putting down your deposit and become the man you always KNEW you could become!

  • Nice Post, love the John Elridge quote. I’m reminded of the Notorious BIG song “sky’s the limit”, When you hold onto that dream, nothing can hold you back, not even the dreaded approach anxiety!

  • Ha ha ha ha – “one of the greatest American artists alive – besides Aerosmith”

    Well, the message of you blog post goes very much in hand with this painting….
    But it’s funny how most “nice guys” only wants the best for their dream girl.
    They want it so much that they will not even “bother” her….

    But PUAs don’t really match the message in this painting which portraits ONE woman and ONE man….Not hundres of women and this one man 🙂

  • Ha ha ha ha – “one of the greatest American artists alive – besides Aerosmith”

    Well, the message of you blog post goes very much in hand with this painting….
    But it’s funny how most “nice guys” only wants the best for their dream girl.
    They want it so much that they will not even “bother” her….

    But PUAs don’t really match the message in this painting which portraits ONE woman and ONE man….Not hundres of women and this one man 🙂

  • dave

    Just a horrible, horrible game! I wish you and your PUA students the best of luck in a terribly tilted game!

  • johalieb

    I know this is an old post. I’m a woman and I think the motivation behind what you teach men is very respectful and honorable. PUA have a bad rep because many are taught some degree of disrespect and manipulation of women. This piece here is particularly touching. I like that you get men in touch with their power as men (which is parallel to women owning their own power and desirable for all people in all parts of their lives anyway).